Setting Boundaries

Our boundaries are where we find ourselves.

We need them to help teach the world who we are and how we want to be treated. They make our relationships stronger. They help us learn to lean on and trust ourselves.

That said, it’s often a hard work setting and enforcing boundaries. Many times it’s not clear. And so much of the time having to set the boundary can tug at our heart strings.

I’ve experienced this in my life. Knowing I needed a boundary to protect myself didn’t take away the pain I had in doing so. You see, boundaries often come along with loss and an acknowledgment that we don’t have the relationship we so badly wanted with another person.

So here’s a gentle reminder that feeling sad while setting a boundary is okay. It’s common. Life is not all or nothing- so just because my intuition is telling me to set a boundary, doesn’t mean there won’t be parts of me that wish more than anything that I didn’t have to.

I see this come up a lot in families. There is so much love, hope and dreams about the kind of relationships we wish for. And, the people we find ourself in close relationship to bring with them their own wiring and history which necessitates a readjustment of expectations—- and setting boundaries. And depending on your history with boundaries and your comfort in setting them- it can be varying degrees of hard. It’s not easy, friends.

What are your thoughts?

To anyone who is having to set tough boundaries, I see you. Sending you much love!

- Leah