What is Secondary Bullying?
Bullying is a complex dynamic. There is the person engaging in the primary bullying- and sometimes there are others, though not the instigators, that go along with the actions of the bully either actively or passively. Ignoring, unfriending, or listening to toxic gossip and accusations are implicitly giving the bully the green light to keep on victimizing the victim.
It’s complex because often times these bystanders are going along only because they’re afraid of becoming the bully’s next target. But this doesn’t make their actions any better or excusable. Bullying doesn’t stop when we ignore it. It stops when we take a stand.
So maybe, right now, you can embrace the idea of taking a stand when you see behavior that’s not okay. There is power in numbers here. Often, when someone who is bullying realizes they are not the person of power anymore- other people are on to them and will not tolerate their behavior - the behavior stops.
I know it’s a scary thought to be the one to take a stand and make your own impression- but it’s a good reminder to stay strong in our truth. No one can ever take that away from you, and my, what a good feeling it is. When we do something hard and brave and authentic.
I know this post may be a little controversial. I want to make the world a more compassionate place- and I think by being brave and listening to our gut when we see behavior that is not okay, we are moving in that direction.
Would love your thoughts here!
Leah 💗
